Vanity Fair no. 1/2011

Why do the pretty and dumb win? If men “run away from an independent woman” and do not wait long enough to discover her.

Why is the joy of life lacking? Dear Mina, why is it that the people you love know how to stand by you in times of suffering and cannot rejoice when everything is going well for you and you are happy? Why is it that on the street, when you meet acquaintances, you always complain about life and are afraid to say that you are fine? You might be happy for little: for a smile, because you are loved, because you are happy to live, because you listen to one of your songs, because you play with a child or walk your dog. All colorful

I think you have misinterpreted the attitude of the people you love. I hope, at least. If they are able to stand by you in suffering, whatever kind it is, surely they are happy when that suffering goes away. It will be that, rightly, in your cheerful moments they will give you less time and attention, since they will feel that you need it less. As for meeting with acquaintances, I don’t think anyone feels like opening up and telling the truth about their mental and physical state, perhaps on the street. Thus we become entrenched behind platitudes and clichés that do not engage. After all, you talk about “acquaintances”: what do you expect them to do? Dear Grace, as they say in Cremona, if they stop to say those two sillinesses of circumstance.

Enlightened males wanted

I am in my 30s, I would say in my career. According to close friends and friends I am pretty, smart, funny, sensitive (of course, I have many flaws, who doesn’t). I have never had difficulty attracting men I like; the problem comes shortly afterward. I like men who are charming, with a thousand interests, overwhelming and self-confident, but then flee when faced with a woman who is independent but hides an immense desire for tenderness. No one waits long enough to find out. To discover myself. It is not my intention to be alone. Will I really be forced to “settle”? N.

I certainly hope not. Of course, the stereotype of the beautiful and dumb or even just dumb woman goes away like hotcakes… However, there may be some enlightened males who seek and love brain matter as their first connotation. Independence, evidently, is scary, disorienting and worrisome. You’d better wait for those who can make the right assessments. If you ever talk about settling, and I really don’t wish you to, when you have many, many more years. Best wishes.

Thank you to those who smile

Can I say hello to her? Dear Mina,if I pass you on the street, can I say hello, say hello? Giorgia

What a strange question. Of course you can. I am an average civilized person, I don’t eat anyone, and I am always grateful to those who smile at me. Also, am I or am I not an “old friend” of yours? Hi Giorgia, I send you a kiss.

What a pain at 40. Ill, she left me over the phone

How about a man who after a year of living together, taking advantage of his partner’s illness, leaves her on the phone saying he is no longer in love and runs away like a thief? Why at 40 is the pain so great? Monica

I think exactly what you think of it. Perhaps even worse, because you, perhaps, will seek some climbing justification for this vulgar violence. Here, let it go. Pain at 40 is the same as pain felt at 20 or 30 or 50 if the reason behind it has the same weight.

How to change

I’m 17 years old, I’m in the fourth grade in Accounting and I’m not doing well anymore, I can’t concentrate in studying, I don’t get along with the teachers very well, but the main thing is that I feel I’m in the wrong school; I’ve tried to continue telling myself I’m too far ahead to do anything else, but I just can’t. Perhaps the best solution would be to change schools by continuing my studies with an evening course, and in the meantime get a small job? M.

Of course you have to change. You are at the beginning of building your life. If you use bricks that don’t fit, the building will collapse sooner or later. Don’t be afraid. Follow your nature. And immediately choose the “bricks” that suit you best. If you want to know, here’s another one who asked the same question right in fourth accounting….

Special Mina for you VanityFair of Dec. 27, 2010
My daughter among the lions

Dear Madam, reviewing old footage from when she still appeared in all her glory, I saw myself again as a restless teenager who, to her unquestionably beautiful voice, preferred Caselli’s improbable one. In short: she was not at the top of my favorite artists, but now I deeply appreciate her lifestyle. My esteem for her was greatly accelerated when I discovered the program Africa Benedetta, where a young woman with Mina’s eyes (provided with eyebrows) guides you through the Dark Continent at a light but incisive pace, telling you stories as a friend would. Watching her daughter, I thought that there was definitely a great mother behind it, and in Benedetta’s journey I sense the same strength of voice as the greatest singer in existence. Aretha Franklin! (come on, just kidding!) A big hug to both of you. Mara Righi

Africa Benedetta is really a good thing, I agree with you. It is an idea that came to Bene who, with her dogged perseverance, defended it and carried it forward amidst a thousand difficulties. I confess that when I saw the parts with Boosta, the one where you start to see the animals, I understood why, when she leaves for her beloved Africa, I am afraid. “But mom, didn’t you see the pictures, don’t you remember what I told you?” Of course, but photos are one thing, seeing her move among the lions doesn’t leave me very comfortable. La Bene says there is no danger–that you just have to follow some very specific rules–and then he says he is happy there. And that’s not only enough for me, but it makes me happy too.

Special Mina for you Vanity Fair of December 31, 2010
Lost in Japan

I miss a person who is now in Japan on a pleasure trip, but also apparently to meet the person who drove him away from me. He 28, she 19, he from southern Italy, she oriental, short, stocky, all smiles. And, I’m told, not at all taken with my ex. Our “story” did not last long, but it was the culmination of an almost year-long courtship, an acquaintance that later turned into deep friendship and finally, into love. After the breakup, I don’t know how to do it, how to recover. Give me some advice. L.

Especially do not try to console yourself by thinking that the Oriental is short and stocky. It won’t take you anywhere. Wait until he comes back from Japan, and you will see for yourself and evaluate how things really are. If it were exactly as you say, there would be no alternative. You stand there quietly and wait for it to pass. What else to do?

 

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They say about her

12 January 2011

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