Vanity Fair no. 2/2011

Do I go back to work or stay with the children? It is the dilemma of a mom who must reenter the workforce and delegate child-rearing to others. What do you think about feminism?

Dear Mina, what did you think and what do you think about feminism? I did not live through its “golden” period, but I think many of those claims went unheard. Especially with regard to the antiquated concept of objectified women: sad to note that it was us who wanted to become sex objects on covers or calendars or TV programs, it was us who “sold” ourselves out of vanity, forgetting values and dignity. Alessia

The greatest enemy of the woman is the woman herself. We cannot get out from under the heel of male slavery. We are caricaturing the female to try to mindlessly go along with the supposed desires of the other party. Pull here, drop there, botulins, fillers, hyaluronic acids, additive plastics, and such delights. You see women around with Fantomas’s face and Saraghina’s breasts. More object than that is how you die. It is all right that it is in man that the famous “physical alteration” must take place, but that does not justify the massacre we are operating on ourselves. We are the first ones to treat ourselves as pieces of meat. It may not be true that the weapons at our disposal are necessarily and physiologically equal to those of the male, but equal must be the dignity to be powerfully and sensibly demanded first of all from ourselves. But given the trend, little hope.

A happy life at home.

36 years old, married for 7 and two wonderful children aged 5 years and 9 months. I can say that I have a happy life, but in a few weeks I am supposed to go back to work, in a company, like so many, that does not meet the needs of so many female workers and mothers who would need different hours. So the choice is: stay home and calmly look for another job or grit my teeth, hold on, go back to the company and delegate the raising of my children to others for more than 8 hours a day. Arianna

Dear Arianna, at this time, more than ever, that of leaving a job is a decision to be considered very carefully. These are baleful times. I don’t know your, your economic situation. If you cannot do without your salary I think there is no choice. Leaving your children so young for eight hours a day would be a hardship on you and them that nothing can ever repay, but, as I repeat, if there is no choice, there is no choice. Life too often is fierce and inhuman. Hugs to you.

Passion (voiceless). In love at first sight

I am 16 years old and in love with a boy who is 8 years older. One of my brothers knows him. Every time I see him I go crazy for him and I think I am really in love with him. What do you recommend I do? Benedetta

But do you know him? I mean: did you ever talk to him? Don’t you think we should at least hear what voice he has? Love overcomes everything, I know. But what if he talked like Donald Duck?

Say I love her

Tell my wife that despite everything I love her, with unconditional love. A few words, but she will understand. Andrea

But why don’t you tell them, Andrea? More importantly, why don’t you show them? That “in spite of everything” leaves me a little puzzled….

I see and tremble

I am attracted to a bearish, womanizing boy. Every time I see him, my legs, arms, heart, and even thoughts start to shake. And it has never happened to me before, and I don’t know if it will happen again. He is sometimes there and sometimes he is not. You don’t want to bind. He certain things as an engaged man does not know how to do. You tell me how to deal with someone like that? If you tell me: forget it! I answer you: remember the legs… Vanessa

I am not telling you to forget him, but to try to understand the real reason for his behavior toward you. He doesn’t want to bond and doesn’t know how to do certain things as a boyfriend. Maybe you are just starting out and he is, rightly, treading lightly. Maybe, instead, he is just a shallow person who doesn’t give a damn about the damage he can cause around. Only you, Vanessa, can understand something more. In the meantime, enjoy this trembling that seizes you every time you see him. You’re right, it’s not a reaction that happens every day, and in its utter danger it also has something delightfully lethal about it.

 

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They say about her

19 January 2011

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